I must first say THANK YOU to my dear friend Laura who took the time to go with me today. I was going to go myself and would have been totally okay. But it was nice to have here there for support!!
The biopsies were not that bad! A little pain and burning when the Novocain was administered but even that wasn’t bad. The doc was so good! The procedure itself was painless! I was expecting some pain but there literally was none! I was able to observe via the ultra sound. Amazing how technology has advanced so much in the 11 years since I last went through this.
I’m a tad sore tonight but not bad. Just taking the Tylenol as they directed.
I should hear either tomorrow or Monday for the results. The nurse said maybe Monday but the doc said tomorrow. I guess we’ll see! I do think that preliminarily both masses seem a wee bit smaller than my first cancer. That one was 2.6cms. This time the one on the right is about (as far as can be seen via ultra sound) 1 cm. The one on the right is a little bigger but didn’t appear to be 2 cm.
I should be feeling something more than I am right now. For some reason I am feeling relieved? Maybe that’s the wrong word….but in reality there has been a piece of me that always waited for a recurrence. And maybe that’s a really horrible way to think. I certainly didn’t live my life obsessing and worrying! Not at all! Remember when I threw out the “It is as it is” saying? Yep – that is exactly right. It is as it is…what ever happens has to be met head on without fear. Maybe once you are diagnosed with cancer that little fear lingers on and on.
I am full of fear right now. The unknown scares me to death. BUT – there is also power in knowledge. There is power in the love and support of my family.
And again I find myself jumping the gun! Of course I can find out it is NOTHING. It happens! My dear aunt recently underwent the removal of a kidney with the understanding that a tumor was present. Indeed something was there…but it was found to be benign! It happens! Fingers crossed! Forward….MARCH! More whenI get the word from the doctor!